Divergent evolution of the polystomach in homosapiens

Manuscript submission for review to Science Intergalatic Evolution

“Identification and characterization of a bimillennial Hawaiian tribe “The Hura” demonstrate evidence of divergent evolution of the polystomach in homo sapiens.”

Abstract:

In an effort to better understand the origins of the humanoid species a project funded by Save Human was centered on the planet earth in an equatorial region that was once inhabited by the Hawaiian Islands. Carbon dating reveals that human inhabitants of these islands in the bimillennial years, approximating 2017 to 2018, may have been the first to evolve adaptations giving rise to the omnifeul stomach previously characterized in modern humanoids of the trimillenium. Visual and sound gigabytes extracted from a prehistoric human communication device reveal these Hura tribe engaging in ritual food consumption overexceeding the capacity of the common homosapien gut. Approximation of mass consumption is between 10 kg per person, per meal, by careful examination of iPhone data. In addition to video reconstructions, histological serial cross sections of Hura stomachs revealed supernumerary glandular formation and extensive cellular differentiation suggesting the production and secretion of a novel for that time acidic solution into the apical side of the stomach epithelium. Mass spectrometric analysis data suggest that the acid chemistry is modified, in place of hydrochloric acid HCl pH 3, sulfuric acid H2SO4 pH 1 is the predominate secretion. Archaelogical findings in a Hura dwelling marks accumulated carbon stores, likely for food consumption purposes with a wider range of complexity ever previously identified in homo sapien realms. Of notable interest, a first-hand account of the Hura clan exquisite caloric consumption was documented in a transcript, translated from English to GARby{|ckn^cucklebust**(({}{}{}{ and has been included in the raw data of this preliminary manuscript.

Materials and Methods

Gigabyte iPhone auditory and visual data. Double pronged centipede tattoo in Hrychko’s upper lip, exemplar patience by young and old alike, paradise, John Cena versus Hulk Hulgan and Randy Savage not to mention a showing of The Rock, scaling branches for mountain apples, McDonalds coffee never smelled so good, crispy Waimanolo waffles, choppy waves in the morning and sweet roller waves by the afternoon, blueberry and peach Djajo pancakes, Babka’s apple noodly heaven, Babka’s stiches in Finny’s shorts, Maunawilli trail, Mok islands, kayaks, turtle bay crystal clear water, orange and black crabbies inside fuzzy shells, deft decisions around lunch and dinner, pizza sunset Kaimana beach, hometime with Star Wars and War Hammer characters, dolphins getting massaged, club beats at Bellows, Hrychko dodges coral at Makapuu, sun screen decisions between wise women at Longs, Costco trip successful by Djajo and Hyrchko, Babka and Djajo sleep in a windstormed tent for two nights, pastries upon arrival and at JJ’s, hot geriatric pole dancing, China town rum and cokes, lots of Maui bikini blondes, Waikiki strollin, chillin’ in the Expedition, 3-way pool game, de plan de plan….what is de ?, RKO, Dudunuhnuh, chess master zen, soccer drills, Lano, Kai, Mahea and Kuleo, fresh new suits, machine gun hopefully firing blanks behind our tents, snorkeling underneath bubbly waves at Hanauma, climbing Koko head ridge at sunset, Sit down Be Humble by Dj Khalid, Finny choosing a guava filled cupcake, lilikoi and haupia malasadas mysteriously appear at home, rootbeer snow cones, pork, lamb chops, vege and garlic and redpepper pizza, Tinka cutting tofu at midnight, Mai Tais with a Stevie Wonder impersonator, Lava Flow, pasta with meat on the side, jogging along a North Side shore, baby chickens   

Results

Histopathological data

To be added in second draft of manuscript.

Mass Spectrometry Data Analysis

To be added in second draft of manuscript

Anthropological Data

Transcription and translation of Hura charcoal petroglyph from English to GARby{|ckn^cucklebust**(({}{}{}{

Memo found in a fossilized bottle –

Title of text: 

[Were doing just fine out here, you can start the year without us]

Dear administration of such a distinguished and delightful school my children should rightfully be attending this fall,

I would like to take this moment to explain fully my reasoning for allowing my two sons, myself and my world-renowned bodysurfing husband a few extra weeks off from school to complete our experiential learning on Oahu, one of the Hawaiian Islands. First and foremost, I want to personally thank you for picking up this bottle from the Berkeley Marina. We were really occupied by requisite tasks such as applying 30 SPF reef safe suntan lotion at the time I decided to take this chance and ask for a summer extension. You see, our two exceptional children, Fincito and Zenmaster are undergoing cultural immersion, gastronomical exhilaration, communal planning, ionic aqua homeopathic cleansing, and feral cat and mongoose bonding. Skills and knowledge unattainable in traditional schools of California. Please do allow us the opportunity to be part of your lovely institution, just a few months later than usual. Also, we would graciously like to request that no dirty looks are projected upon us as we embark on our first day of class a mere fifteen minutes after the bell. In conclusion, it would be so awesome if you could just drop a quick note back in the bottle to inform us of the classrooms and teachers assigned to our above average children. Thanks again for your trust and patience with our superior lifestyle.

Rasta forever,

Parents of Bas-ura Boys

Visual and auditory gigabyte data extracted from archaic humanoid communication device

Discussion

To be completed in version two of manuscript once auditory gigabytes are fully analyzed.